Making Up My Mind

Sometimes thoughts just get stuck on repeat in my head. I'm still thinking about that man by the pool of Bethesda whom Jesus asked, "Do you want to be healed?"(see post). The idea that healing is a choice has occupied my thoughts a lot recently as I keep encountering it. Here is what Beth Moore had to say about it in Get Out of That Pit:

"God is not just a firm place to stand. He's a firm place to stay. . . . And if that's what we want, we've got to do something absolutely crucial. We've got to make up our minds. The ground beneath our feet will only be as firm as our resolve. As long as we're wishy-washy, what's under us will be wishy-washy too. God gives us a firm place to stand, but we have to decide we want to take it. . . . God is ever the Giver (see James 1:17) but, by His sovereign design, each individual gets to exercise the prerogative whether to be a taker. . . . Without hesitation God offers you a firm place to stand, but your feet are not firmly set in place until you've made up your own mind that's where you want to be. He will not force you to stand. And He most assuredly will not force you to stay. . . . Until you finally make up your mind that you're cleaving to God and calling upon His power from now until Hades freezes over, your feet are set upon a banana peel. You may stand while the wind is calm, but when the storm hits and the floodwaters rise, the undertow will leave you gulping for air."

God is most certainly a healer. He "forgives all [my] sins and heals all [my] diseases" (Psalms 103:3). Countless times Jesus had compassion on the multitudes and healed their sick (Matthew 14:14). Jesus "bore [my] sin in his own body on the tree, that [I], being dead to sins, should live to righteousness: by whose stripes [I was] healed." God desires to heal, He came not for the healthy, but for the sick (Matthew 9:12). Physical, emotional, spiritual infirmities, God is healer; but the question remains, "Do [I] want to be healed?" Do I want to stand on firm ground?

I've was there lying on that mat, sinking in that pit, unable to stand. I found myself faced with a choice: 1) continue on in the current state of existence or 2) accept healing. Questions circulated in my mind. How long do I plan on lying on my mat? How long do I want to sink in a pit, unable to stand? What is my testimony for Christ as others look at my life? What will staying here do for me? What will staying here do for Christ? I knew I could be healed, I could stand on firm ground, but had I made up my mind that is where I wanted to be?  I didn't have to save myself, I didn't have to have the hope, I didn't have to have the strength, all I had to do was make up my mind.

It may seem stupid, but I couldn't, I just couldn't determine I wanted to be well once and for all. I was "wishy-washy." So I began praying for the desire to be healed, knowing that it was in God's will so I would surely receive it. And I did. Healing is a choice and I've made up my mind. I'm praying for healing. I'm done making excuses. I'm trusting God. I'm picking up my mat and walking. I want to stand on firm ground. Storms may come and floodwaters may rise, but I have made up my mind, I'm cleaving to God and calling on His power. I just want to shout, "Yes, Jesus, YES I want to be healed!" God wants me to  be healed so I know that I will be. When or how I don't know, but I know that I will be. I expect it, I wait for it, I am eager for it.

" I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him." Psalm 40:1-3