Like Creation

"He set he earth on its foundations; it can never be moved. You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains. . . . You set a boundary they cannot cross . . . He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; he earth is satisfied by the fruit of his work. . . . How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number--living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there. These all look to you to give them food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to dust. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth." Psalm 104

 God is Creator of all the earth. It is at His calling and disposal. He holds all things together, controlling the seemingly uncontrollable. How often I forget this! In the back of my mind do I not sometimes think that somehow certain situations are too hard or impossible for Him? How wrong I am! Psalm 104 speaks of God's power over all of nature, over the entire earth. The water, winds, plants, sun, moon, mountains, creatures, are all at His fingertips. This control, this power is unfathomable to me.

Perhaps this inability to comprehend leads me to think that I have control. For I certainly do believe that I have control sometimes. I find myself thinking I have a significant amount of power over things which take place in my life. Surely if I try hard enough things will go my way. Or if I don't have control, I can somehow try to be good or righteous enough for God to bless me so things will go my way. How terrible my motives and how small that thinking makes my God! The truth is I do not have control. My power is limited to my actions. I have no more power than the creatures in Psalm 104.

The creatures have no control over the winds, plants, water, or sun. They cannot control whether there is food to gather. So why do I think that I could do such things? I cannot control these things either. Why do I think I have more power or control then they? I should look to them as examples. Truly they are utterly dependent upon the Lord for their safety and provision. God gives them their food at the proper time and they gather it up. He opens His hand and they are satisfied with good things. God sent Jesus to earth to suffer and die in my place, so will He not provide for me what He provides for these creatures?

So what would happen if I would let go and trust the Lord for these things? What would happen if I would stop thinking I had control? If I would stop trying to control that which I never had control of? What if I truly realized in my heart God was in complete control? What if I thought of myself as more of one of His creatures, completely and utterly dependent upon Him?

"These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things."                     Psalm 104: 27-28

A Fake God

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." I first heard this quote by A.W. Tozer a little over a year ago while listening to an audio cd of his book, Knowledge of the Holy One. Since then I have experienced how my view of God can effect everything else in my life and perhaps that is what A.W. Tozer meant when he said, "it is the most important thing about us."

This fall I worshiped a fake "God." I didn't recognize it at the time, but I most certainly do now. Busy trying to balance my new job and life, my time in the Scriptures slowly diminished. As life brought its trials,  I found myself questioning and upset. My mind began to try and make sense of what I was dealing with. Why were these things happening? Could God really have good things in store for me? Would God give me something I didn't want? Looking back the "God" of my mind was weak, didn't want the best for me, was unable to accomplish certain tasks, was inconsiderate of my feelings, only loved me when I did the right thing, and was not trustworthy. The result of my skewed view of God led to anxiousness, sadness, and hopelessness. It effected me spiritually, mentally, and even physically.

It began when I failed to make reading Scriptures and spending time with God a priority. Without daily filling my mind with the truth about who God was, my own mind took over and began making God into someone else. Even being raised in a Christian home, going to Bible college, and attending church regularly did not prevent this from happening. If daily I am not reminded of the truth of who God really is then He becomes what I want Him to be and I worship a fake God. The true God revealed in Scriptures was nothing like what I was thinking this fall. He is a God of hope, of unconditional love, of strength, and of wisdom beyond human understanding.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the RENEWING OF YOUR MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."   Romans 12:2 (emphasis added by me)

   

My Promise Land

As I continue to read the story of the Israelites I am struck again and again by just how similar I am to them. I see so much of myself in their actions and attitudes. Reading about their story and God's responses  causes me to turn inward and examine my own heart. In this passage I read recently the Israelites are preparing to cross over into the promise land.

"On the plains of Moab by the Jordan across from Jericho the Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places. Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess. . . . But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. And then I will do to you what I planned to do to them." Numbers 33:50-56

God gave the Israelites  the promise land to possess. The Israelites knew without a doubt that the Lord wanted to bring them into the land to settle. They knew the Lord's will for them. They did not have to question whether they would be able to take over the land, they just had to be willing. God would be the one fighting for Israel, driving out the inhabitants, they just had to obey and follow Him.

I am not an Israelite, I am not preparing for battle against nations, I am not moving to a new country. However, I am a child of God and He has a will for my life. In the simplest form, I am supposed to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength, and love my neighbor as myself (Mark 12:30-31). More specifically I am to "be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16) and to do the good works God prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).

God's will for my life, my promise land, is to walk in a relationship with Him, to enter into His rest. The question is will I drive out all the inhabitants in the land? Will I destroy all the carved images and cast idols and demolish all the high places? What are the inhabitants in my life that should be driven out? What are the carved images and cast idols in my heart? What are the high places where I dishonor my God?  God's will is for me to take possession of the land, to settle in it, and I don't have to do it on my own. He has given me the power to do so through the death of Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Spirit. He will fight for me, but will I obey and follow Him?

If I choose not to obey, my relationship with Him will suffer. Those things in my life, inhabitants, that I should remove, will draw me away from Him, they will entice me to compromise, just as they did the Israelites. The things which I make idols in my heart, that I worship with my thoughts, time, and attention,  will keep me from fully loving God with ALL my heart, soul, strength, and mind. If I keep the high places, those areas or activities which I know lead to compromise and idolatry, I will have trouble. They will be barbs in my eyes and thorns in my sides, they will cause me pain. The Lord may even choose to discipline me.

I must drive out the inhabitants. I must destroy the cast idols and carved images. I must demolish the high places. For I long to enter into rest, to live in the promise land God has given to me. What is it in my life and heart I need to get rid of?

". . . let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1b

Making Up My Mind

Sometimes thoughts just get stuck on repeat in my head. I'm still thinking about that man by the pool of Bethesda whom Jesus asked, "Do you want to be healed?"(see post). The idea that healing is a choice has occupied my thoughts a lot recently as I keep encountering it. Here is what Beth Moore had to say about it in Get Out of That Pit:

"God is not just a firm place to stand. He's a firm place to stay. . . . And if that's what we want, we've got to do something absolutely crucial. We've got to make up our minds. The ground beneath our feet will only be as firm as our resolve. As long as we're wishy-washy, what's under us will be wishy-washy too. God gives us a firm place to stand, but we have to decide we want to take it. . . . God is ever the Giver (see James 1:17) but, by His sovereign design, each individual gets to exercise the prerogative whether to be a taker. . . . Without hesitation God offers you a firm place to stand, but your feet are not firmly set in place until you've made up your own mind that's where you want to be. He will not force you to stand. And He most assuredly will not force you to stay. . . . Until you finally make up your mind that you're cleaving to God and calling upon His power from now until Hades freezes over, your feet are set upon a banana peel. You may stand while the wind is calm, but when the storm hits and the floodwaters rise, the undertow will leave you gulping for air."

God is most certainly a healer. He "forgives all [my] sins and heals all [my] diseases" (Psalms 103:3). Countless times Jesus had compassion on the multitudes and healed their sick (Matthew 14:14). Jesus "bore [my] sin in his own body on the tree, that [I], being dead to sins, should live to righteousness: by whose stripes [I was] healed." God desires to heal, He came not for the healthy, but for the sick (Matthew 9:12). Physical, emotional, spiritual infirmities, God is healer; but the question remains, "Do [I] want to be healed?" Do I want to stand on firm ground?

I've was there lying on that mat, sinking in that pit, unable to stand. I found myself faced with a choice: 1) continue on in the current state of existence or 2) accept healing. Questions circulated in my mind. How long do I plan on lying on my mat? How long do I want to sink in a pit, unable to stand? What is my testimony for Christ as others look at my life? What will staying here do for me? What will staying here do for Christ? I knew I could be healed, I could stand on firm ground, but had I made up my mind that is where I wanted to be?  I didn't have to save myself, I didn't have to have the hope, I didn't have to have the strength, all I had to do was make up my mind.

It may seem stupid, but I couldn't, I just couldn't determine I wanted to be well once and for all. I was "wishy-washy." So I began praying for the desire to be healed, knowing that it was in God's will so I would surely receive it. And I did. Healing is a choice and I've made up my mind. I'm praying for healing. I'm done making excuses. I'm trusting God. I'm picking up my mat and walking. I want to stand on firm ground. Storms may come and floodwaters may rise, but I have made up my mind, I'm cleaving to God and calling on His power. I just want to shout, "Yes, Jesus, YES I want to be healed!" God wants me to  be healed so I know that I will be. When or how I don't know, but I know that I will be. I expect it, I wait for it, I am eager for it.

" I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him." Psalm 40:1-3 

Black and White

There's black, there's white, and then there's grey. This concept has never frustrated me more than in the area of prayer and determining God's will. At times I have wished that the Bible was more extensive or that God would just call down from heaven, "My will for you is ___________." I have focused on the grey in prayer always wondering whether something was God's will or not. I hadn't thought much about the black and white until recently.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him."               1 John 5:14-15

There are grey areas of God's will in my life: what job I work, where I live, what college I attended, who I marry, friends I make, etc. However, there are far more black and white areas of God's will: moral choices, purity, walking in the spirit, working as unto Him, praising His name, serving others, etc. Sometimes I forget to ask for the black and white, but how I should! For when my requests align with God's will I can be confident I will receive them. Psalm 115:3 says, "Our God is in heaven, he does whatever pleases him." There is no doubt, no question, just patience in his timing.

I know it is God's will for me to trust him, so if I ask for trust I can be confident He will build it within me. I know it is God's will for me to be healed, so if I ask for healing I can be confident He will heal me. I know it is God's will for me to have a positive perspective in the midst of hardship, so if I ask for Him to help me change my perspective I can be confident He will be working on me. I know it is  God's will for me to be free of the sins which entangle me, so if I ask for freedom I can be confident He will come to my rescue. I know it is God's will for me to have peace, so if I ask for peace I can be confident He will bring it. I know it is God's will for me to be a servant, so if I ask for a heart of service I can be confident He will develop it.

 I can be confident in asking for God's will, for the black and white. It doesn't matter how impossible my request may seem, I can ask anything in His will and He hears. If I ask for something in God's will I am guaranteed to have it. It is a powerful idea. I can wait in eager expectance for God to act, to bring about His will in His way and His timing. So I will ask, not only about the grey, but the black and white.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Confession

I have always considered confession to be a word associated with sin only, however this excerpt from Get Out Of That Pit by Beth Moore has been on my mind.

"Confession in its widest sense is our means of baring our hearts and souls before God. Confession is a way we agree with what God says about Himself and about us. Confession takes place every time you tell God how much you need Him. Tell Him what's on your mind. What kind of mess you're in. Who's in it with you. What's holding you back. What's on your heart. Who's on  your case. Who's made you mad. Who's on your nerves. Who's broken your heart. Even if your first impulse is to think it's Him. As long as you can feel it, spill it. Psalm 145:18 says, 'The Lord is near to all who call on him, / to all who call on him in truth.'"

 Sometimes there are things within my heart that I fail to tell God about. I may fail to tell him because I simply don't think about bringing it before him or because I feel it is insignificant. Sometimes I fail to tell him because I know in my head my feelings are wrong, unbiblical, or not based on truth, yet they are real. In those times I am afraid to really bare my heart. However, try as I might to hide my feelings or thoughts, I cannot. Nothing is hidden from Him.

God knows everything that goes on within me. Psalms 94:11 says, "The Lord knows the thoughts of man, he knows that they are futile." He,"searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts" (1 Chronicles 28:9). God, "alone knows the heart of all men" (1 Kings 8:39). Psalm 139 says, "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;  you perceive my thoughts from afar. . . . before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord." God sees it all, my thoughts, my feelings, my motives.

Similar to unconfessed sin, failure to bare my heart before the Lord can at times brings an intolerable inner turmoil. It isolates, leaving me alone to carry my burdens. It reminds me of that old hymn What A Friend We Have in Jesus: "O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bare, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer." Failure to be completely honest with God hurts me, not God. I deprive myself of God's comfort and peace. I must be careful how I am honest, just as Job was, but I can be honest.

God already knows what's in my soul, He doesn't need to be told, but He desires me to cry out to him, to bare my soul. Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you." According to Scripture,  I can, "pour out [my] heart to him, for God is [my] refuge" (Psalm 62:8). I am not supposed to be anxious about anything but rather in every situation bring my requests before God through prayer and petition, and his peace which passes all understanding will guard my heart and mind (Philippians 4:6-7). There is freedom and peace in confession of both sin and the inmost parts of the soul.

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you." Psalm 38:9

When I kept silent

David was called a "man after God's own heart," yet he still fell into sin. Not only did he sin, but sometimes he failed to acknowledge his wrongdoing before the Lord. In Psalm 32, David describes the ramifications of unconfessed sin he experienced.

"1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2 Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. 3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. 5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgression to the Lord"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin. 6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him."                 Psalm 32:1-6

Sometimes I wish I could sit down and just talk with David. I mean, his words could almost be written from my own soul. If we could talk I would want to ask why he didn't confess his sins sooner. I wonder if we would find commonality in our experiences. Was it because he felt ashamed? Was it because he was in denial of his sin? Was it because he had excuse after excuse for his actions? Was it because he was fearful of God's wrath?  Was it because he was consumed with his own desires?

Whatever the reason, David's silence, poisoned his very being from the inside out. He was miserable, groaning all day, he was even brought to the point of physical discomfort. There is a struggle within between what has been done and the convictions of truth. The uneasiness is like a weight, a burden, which grows daily resulting in weariness. Even worse, unconfessed sin severs communion with God, therefore one remains alone, isolated. God already knows the sin, it is only self-inflicted injury.

Why do I try to hide things from God? Why do I keep silent at times? I have experienced the intolerable pain that it brings. Never have I felt so alone as when I kept silent. Never have I experienced greater affliction within my heart as when I refuse to acknowledge my sin. Never have I been so lost grasping for purpose as when I failed to confess my sin. Nothing satisfies like sweet communion with the Lord. I have been silent and there is no reason worth the anguish it brings. Truly, "Blessed is the man whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit."

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9