Miss Karissa

Tomorrow is the beginning of my third year of teaching. In addition, it is my third 'first year' of teaching. Three years, three schools, three different levels. So far in my teaching career I have found the first days of school to be stressful and overwhelming, however this year seems particularly more challenging that the rest.

It's different. Everything. Student names, curriculum, student demographics, school size, level of math, transportation to school, the lunch food...everything. I don't even have the same name. I will be addressed by my first name, Miss Karissa. It's beyond stressful, beyond overwhelming. When people ask how I'm doing I find myself speechless. Literally my brain is going so fast that nothing comes out of my mouth. How do I begin to describe what's going on inside of me?

Never ever in my life have I felt so utterly incapable for a task. I feel inadequate. Who am I to teach calculus to students at one of the top private schools in Indonesia? I haven't taught calculus before, I was lucky to have made it through the course in college. I open my textbook and my heartbeat races. My brain hurts after looking at the tests. On top of this I'm still trying to wrap my head around the grading and assessment system. I feel lost, scared, and helpless.

This is how I feel, but here is what I know.

". . . for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

"'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 2 Peter 1:5-7

God is at work in SPH International and has allowed me to be a part of that work. I must trust that He will see me through the school year. I come before Him asking (more like begging) for the whatever it is that I need as a teacher to represent Him best. Would you join with me? Would you ask that for the sake of God's kingdom and work at SPH International I would . . .

   - Have the knowledge and understanding to teach my math classes (especially calculus)
   - Manage my time well to effectively meet requirements
   - Be faithful in prayer for my students
   - Have the courage to build relationships with students as the Holy Spirit leads
   - Work with all my heart for the Lord (Colossians 3:23)

As James says, "the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Please remember me in your prayers as I start school this week.