Rain

It's holiday here. Yes, isn't that a fantastic word, "holiday"? I think I shall forever discard the use of "break" or "vacation"! Unlike many expatriates on holiday, I spent the day settling into my apartment. Of course this means I was still scrubbing, but this time with no accidents. I was in the kitchen cleaning my cabinets when I heard the all familiar patter of rain.

It's the dry season here, so it doesn't rain much and when it does rain, it doesn't last for long. Today I stood mesmerized for that short period of time at the window watching. Just watching the rain drip down the window and off the ledge outside. The rain brought with it a transformation. A sky white from a haze of smog cleared to reveal a city stretched across the horizon. This simple transformation seemed to demonstrate an idea addressed yesterday at church and in my devotions this morning.

"Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong." Ecclesiastes 5:1

How do I come before God? What is the condition of my heart and mind? What are my actions when I come? In the Old Testament the Lord required that a perfect lamb without blemish be brought for sacrifice (Deuteronomy 17:1). When I come before the Lord, should I not bring Him the BEST sacrifice I have to offer? Of course I am not bringing a lamb, as Jesus Christ has paid my debt, but I am bringing my heart and my mind. Psalm 51:17 says, "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise." Is my heart broken and contrite? Or do I come before God with unconfessed sin?

If I'm honest, there are a lot of times I come before God in a rush. Life has caused me to be frazzled or distracted so when I pray confession seems to get tossed out, along with praise, in order that my "requests" make it in. Why is that? It seems as if somehow I have forgotten who God is and who I am. "If [I] claim to be without sin, [I] deceive [myself] and the truth is not in [me]" (1 John 1:8). He is a holy God and has called me to obedience. Do I think that He can't see my unconfessed sin or doesn't care about it? Might I believe unconfessed sin won't effect my relationship with Him?

Unconfessed sin is like the smoggy horizon before the rain. I can't see clearly. My relationship with the Lord just isn't the same. Confessing my sin brings a transformation, like the rain. When I have humbled myself and been honest with God I experience His grace in a much fuller way making my joy complete.

I want to guard my steps when I come to God. Perhaps think a little bit more about just who I am coming before and what He requires. I want to come broken, contrite, humble. Ready to listen, not to talk. I don't want to be enveloped in smog, I want the rain, the rain that will let me see and know Him.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9