When the Rubber Meets the Road

Have you ever had one of those experiences with telephone customer service?  You know the ones I'm talking about, where a simple question turns into a giant puzzle? Where you get transferred from customer service to billing to account management and then back to customer service? Somewhere in the middle of this, you just want to throw your phone out the window or hang up, but you know that if you do it will take even longer so you hold. It never fails that while your on hold a sweet little message comes on to say, "This call will be monitored for quality assurance to provide you with the best service." The best service? Yeah right, you have just wasted 45 minutes of your life and talked to four different people who told you four different things. The company says they believe in providing the best service, but when the rubber meets the road they fail at it.

Is not our faith like this sometimes? We say we believe in this or we believe in that, but what do our actions show? What do our inner thoughts reveal? Do our feelings betray what we claim to believe? In my own life, I recognize a disconnect. I say I believe something, yet my inner, subconscious, unspoken, thoughts reveal an entirely different belief. I find my actions or feelings, governed by these subconscious beliefs rather than my spoken beliefs. It is almost as if I hold within two theologies: proclaimed theology and working theology.

For instance, I say I believe God is powerful, sovereign over all creation. Yet, I catch myself feeling hopeless in situations, thinking that there is no solution or way out. I find my self attempting to do whatever I can to make something happen or solve the problem. This all conflicts with my proclaimed theology "God is powerful and sovereign." My working theology puts God in a box by allowing a situation to seemingly be impossible. It demonstrates the belief that I have more power than Him as I rely on my own strength in desperation.

It's a struggle to align my working theology to my proclaimed theology. In my feelings, my thoughts, my actions, I see where I fall short. What I truly believe is not in my words, but in these. I find myself shamed when this truth is revealed. There is a battle within me between these two theologies. How I long for them to be one! This discrepancy hinders my testimony to the world.  O that God may have grace as I strive to unite my proclaimed theology with my -- thinking, feeling, doing -- working theology!! When the rubber meets the road, I do not want to fail, I want to live what I believe so that Christ might be glorified.

"So also, faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." James 2:17

Like Creation

"He set he earth on its foundations; it can never be moved. You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains. . . . You set a boundary they cannot cross . . . He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; he earth is satisfied by the fruit of his work. . . . How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number--living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there. These all look to you to give them food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to dust. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth." Psalm 104

 God is Creator of all the earth. It is at His calling and disposal. He holds all things together, controlling the seemingly uncontrollable. How often I forget this! In the back of my mind do I not sometimes think that somehow certain situations are too hard or impossible for Him? How wrong I am! Psalm 104 speaks of God's power over all of nature, over the entire earth. The water, winds, plants, sun, moon, mountains, creatures, are all at His fingertips. This control, this power is unfathomable to me.

Perhaps this inability to comprehend leads me to think that I have control. For I certainly do believe that I have control sometimes. I find myself thinking I have a significant amount of power over things which take place in my life. Surely if I try hard enough things will go my way. Or if I don't have control, I can somehow try to be good or righteous enough for God to bless me so things will go my way. How terrible my motives and how small that thinking makes my God! The truth is I do not have control. My power is limited to my actions. I have no more power than the creatures in Psalm 104.

The creatures have no control over the winds, plants, water, or sun. They cannot control whether there is food to gather. So why do I think that I could do such things? I cannot control these things either. Why do I think I have more power or control then they? I should look to them as examples. Truly they are utterly dependent upon the Lord for their safety and provision. God gives them their food at the proper time and they gather it up. He opens His hand and they are satisfied with good things. God sent Jesus to earth to suffer and die in my place, so will He not provide for me what He provides for these creatures?

So what would happen if I would let go and trust the Lord for these things? What would happen if I would stop thinking I had control? If I would stop trying to control that which I never had control of? What if I truly realized in my heart God was in complete control? What if I thought of myself as more of one of His creatures, completely and utterly dependent upon Him?

"These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things."                     Psalm 104: 27-28

A Fake God

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." I first heard this quote by A.W. Tozer a little over a year ago while listening to an audio cd of his book, Knowledge of the Holy One. Since then I have experienced how my view of God can effect everything else in my life and perhaps that is what A.W. Tozer meant when he said, "it is the most important thing about us."

This fall I worshiped a fake "God." I didn't recognize it at the time, but I most certainly do now. Busy trying to balance my new job and life, my time in the Scriptures slowly diminished. As life brought its trials,  I found myself questioning and upset. My mind began to try and make sense of what I was dealing with. Why were these things happening? Could God really have good things in store for me? Would God give me something I didn't want? Looking back the "God" of my mind was weak, didn't want the best for me, was unable to accomplish certain tasks, was inconsiderate of my feelings, only loved me when I did the right thing, and was not trustworthy. The result of my skewed view of God led to anxiousness, sadness, and hopelessness. It effected me spiritually, mentally, and even physically.

It began when I failed to make reading Scriptures and spending time with God a priority. Without daily filling my mind with the truth about who God was, my own mind took over and began making God into someone else. Even being raised in a Christian home, going to Bible college, and attending church regularly did not prevent this from happening. If daily I am not reminded of the truth of who God really is then He becomes what I want Him to be and I worship a fake God. The true God revealed in Scriptures was nothing like what I was thinking this fall. He is a God of hope, of unconditional love, of strength, and of wisdom beyond human understanding.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the RENEWING OF YOUR MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."   Romans 12:2 (emphasis added by me)

   

My Promise Land

As I continue to read the story of the Israelites I am struck again and again by just how similar I am to them. I see so much of myself in their actions and attitudes. Reading about their story and God's responses  causes me to turn inward and examine my own heart. In this passage I read recently the Israelites are preparing to cross over into the promise land.

"On the plains of Moab by the Jordan across from Jericho the Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places. Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess. . . . But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. And then I will do to you what I planned to do to them." Numbers 33:50-56

God gave the Israelites  the promise land to possess. The Israelites knew without a doubt that the Lord wanted to bring them into the land to settle. They knew the Lord's will for them. They did not have to question whether they would be able to take over the land, they just had to be willing. God would be the one fighting for Israel, driving out the inhabitants, they just had to obey and follow Him.

I am not an Israelite, I am not preparing for battle against nations, I am not moving to a new country. However, I am a child of God and He has a will for my life. In the simplest form, I am supposed to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength, and love my neighbor as myself (Mark 12:30-31). More specifically I am to "be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16) and to do the good works God prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).

God's will for my life, my promise land, is to walk in a relationship with Him, to enter into His rest. The question is will I drive out all the inhabitants in the land? Will I destroy all the carved images and cast idols and demolish all the high places? What are the inhabitants in my life that should be driven out? What are the carved images and cast idols in my heart? What are the high places where I dishonor my God?  God's will is for me to take possession of the land, to settle in it, and I don't have to do it on my own. He has given me the power to do so through the death of Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Spirit. He will fight for me, but will I obey and follow Him?

If I choose not to obey, my relationship with Him will suffer. Those things in my life, inhabitants, that I should remove, will draw me away from Him, they will entice me to compromise, just as they did the Israelites. The things which I make idols in my heart, that I worship with my thoughts, time, and attention,  will keep me from fully loving God with ALL my heart, soul, strength, and mind. If I keep the high places, those areas or activities which I know lead to compromise and idolatry, I will have trouble. They will be barbs in my eyes and thorns in my sides, they will cause me pain. The Lord may even choose to discipline me.

I must drive out the inhabitants. I must destroy the cast idols and carved images. I must demolish the high places. For I long to enter into rest, to live in the promise land God has given to me. What is it in my life and heart I need to get rid of?

". . . let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1b

Making Up My Mind

Sometimes thoughts just get stuck on repeat in my head. I'm still thinking about that man by the pool of Bethesda whom Jesus asked, "Do you want to be healed?"(see post). The idea that healing is a choice has occupied my thoughts a lot recently as I keep encountering it. Here is what Beth Moore had to say about it in Get Out of That Pit:

"God is not just a firm place to stand. He's a firm place to stay. . . . And if that's what we want, we've got to do something absolutely crucial. We've got to make up our minds. The ground beneath our feet will only be as firm as our resolve. As long as we're wishy-washy, what's under us will be wishy-washy too. God gives us a firm place to stand, but we have to decide we want to take it. . . . God is ever the Giver (see James 1:17) but, by His sovereign design, each individual gets to exercise the prerogative whether to be a taker. . . . Without hesitation God offers you a firm place to stand, but your feet are not firmly set in place until you've made up your own mind that's where you want to be. He will not force you to stand. And He most assuredly will not force you to stay. . . . Until you finally make up your mind that you're cleaving to God and calling upon His power from now until Hades freezes over, your feet are set upon a banana peel. You may stand while the wind is calm, but when the storm hits and the floodwaters rise, the undertow will leave you gulping for air."

God is most certainly a healer. He "forgives all [my] sins and heals all [my] diseases" (Psalms 103:3). Countless times Jesus had compassion on the multitudes and healed their sick (Matthew 14:14). Jesus "bore [my] sin in his own body on the tree, that [I], being dead to sins, should live to righteousness: by whose stripes [I was] healed." God desires to heal, He came not for the healthy, but for the sick (Matthew 9:12). Physical, emotional, spiritual infirmities, God is healer; but the question remains, "Do [I] want to be healed?" Do I want to stand on firm ground?

I've was there lying on that mat, sinking in that pit, unable to stand. I found myself faced with a choice: 1) continue on in the current state of existence or 2) accept healing. Questions circulated in my mind. How long do I plan on lying on my mat? How long do I want to sink in a pit, unable to stand? What is my testimony for Christ as others look at my life? What will staying here do for me? What will staying here do for Christ? I knew I could be healed, I could stand on firm ground, but had I made up my mind that is where I wanted to be?  I didn't have to save myself, I didn't have to have the hope, I didn't have to have the strength, all I had to do was make up my mind.

It may seem stupid, but I couldn't, I just couldn't determine I wanted to be well once and for all. I was "wishy-washy." So I began praying for the desire to be healed, knowing that it was in God's will so I would surely receive it. And I did. Healing is a choice and I've made up my mind. I'm praying for healing. I'm done making excuses. I'm trusting God. I'm picking up my mat and walking. I want to stand on firm ground. Storms may come and floodwaters may rise, but I have made up my mind, I'm cleaving to God and calling on His power. I just want to shout, "Yes, Jesus, YES I want to be healed!" God wants me to  be healed so I know that I will be. When or how I don't know, but I know that I will be. I expect it, I wait for it, I am eager for it.

" I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him." Psalm 40:1-3