Riding on Top

It's Friday afternoon. The sun is almost cutting through the Jakarta haze and my step is light. I'm riding on top. No longer crushed under a pile of a million and one things, but rather sitting on top of pile of a million and one things. I don't know when it happened, but there came a day when I realized I was "making it" here in Jakarta.

Maybe it was the magical 6 month mark of living in a foreign country, or perhaps knowing how to get a taxi and buy groceries coming back from Christmas holiday. It could have been the day I ceased to feel that lingering sense of doubt when teaching my math classes. All of these are possibilities, but I think its because I'm further on this journey of letting go.

Contrary to my perfectionism, I'm not always 100% planned for class, my apartment sometimes goes more than a week without a mopping, I quit doing the homework I assign my students, and I now feel "ok" saying "I don't know" to a question a student asks. I even go out to take a picture of a man riding on top of garbage sacks on a Friday afternoon.

Why am I blogging about this? I want to praise God. I want to acknowledge his work in my life. I could be trapped in the label, the box, "perfectionist." After all, it is my natural tendency not something I chose, but I'm not! I want to thank God for not leaving me stuck there, but graciously helping me learn I can live outside the label. God is bigger than my characteristics.

I am also blogging about this because I want YOU to praise God! Many of you have been faithfully praying for me as I teach here in Indonesia. Well, God is answering your prayers. I am understanding more of the content and actually sleeping. On my best days, I even feel a little bit confident as a teacher :) So, thank YOU for praying and praise GOD for answering! With his grace being enough and his strength in my weaknesses, I'm riding on top.

"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4